


careless words

by zzleepy



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drunken Confessions, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:34:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23437780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzleepy/pseuds/zzleepy
Summary: youngjo returns home to a drunk hwanwoong. three careless words fall off his mouth again, but youngjo is used to it; hearing hwanwoong say things he doesn’t mean.
Relationships: Kim Youngjo | Ravn & Yeo Hwanwoong, Kim Youngjo | Ravn/Yeo Hwanwoong
Comments: 12
Kudos: 119





	careless words

**Author's Note:**

> obsessed with rawoong lately, sorry lmao. i wrote this at literally 3 am so im sorry for any mistakes. 
> 
> hope you like it :)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“wah! snacks! thank you, hyung!” hwanwoong hops excitedly at the sight of youngjo holding his favorite snacks, freshly bought from the nearby convenience store. youngjo just left for a little while and hwanwoong is already terribly drunk, evident in his cheeks blaring red, lidded eyes and stupidly wide grin. 

_“i love you!”_

_unnecessary,_ youngjo thinks, but it is a given as hwanwoong is known to be very affectionate, both verbally and physically; which doubles when he is drunk. it also doesn’t help that they are alone as the people who decided to stay while the other members are resting at their own places. 

youngjo just laughs in response, amused at hwanwoong’s unstable footsteps and slurred speech. he doesn’t comment on hwanwoong’s words; he’s heard it too many times to know that there’s no meaning behind it. it always falls off hwanwoong’s mouth carelessly, and youngjo has gotten used to it; to hearing hwanwoong say things he doesn’t mean. but though he is, it doesn’t dull the small pain that stings his heart whenever he hears it. perhaps it numbs over time, but it’s there— _always_ there. 

“you idiot, i just left you for 10 minutes and you’re already _this_ drunk?” 

“why? it’s fun. don’t be such a killjoy.” hwanwoong whines cutely, struggling to open the snacks with his hands weakened with alcohol. his cheeks inflate and his forehead crumples as he concentrates, fiddling with the poor bag harshly. “it won’t let me eat!” 

youngjo grabs the snack off hwanwoong’s small hands and laughs at his pissed face, his mouth gathered in an exaggerated pout. “well, _i’m_ the one taking care of you, so i’d like it if you don’t make my job too difficult.” 

when youngjo rips the snack open, hwanwoong’s face lights up like a lightbulb. he grabs it from youngjo’s hands and starts chowing down on it, filling his cheeks with as many pieces as he could possibly fit and chewing it all at once, cheeks bouncing at the messy movement of his mouth. he smiles at youngjo again, the alcohol pulling his grin higher and painting his face redder. 

the sight tugs along youngjo’s heartstrings like he’s never seen it before. he looked impossibly endearing that youngjo might as well just confess right now while hwanwoong is still dead drunk, but he won’t, like always. despite _always_ being on the verge of doing it, he never did; not now, not ever. 

it’s not that he’s a coward; with all the time he’s spent with hwanwoong, he’s just learned to accept that this is all they could ever be. he’s learned that his place would always be _here,_ close to hwanwoong but never close enough, with his feelings always threatening to spill yet never actually reaching. he knew he’d lose more than he’d gain— he’d lose precious moments like this, hwanwoong’s beautiful smiles at him, and even the words he knew hwanwoong doesn’t mean— he’d no longer get to hope they’d be even in the tiniest bit _true._

he settles on the couch with a sigh, grabbing a bottle hwanwoong hasn’t completely downed yet. before he knew it, hwanwoong was already lying on his lap, staring at him with hooded eyes and a stupidly cute pout, again. 

youngjo pretends he doesn’t hear it, the way his heart is threatening to leap out of his body, violently beating against the walls of his chest. he swallows it back down, the feelings that threatened to claw its way out of his throat. 

“what do you want?” 

“ice cream.” 

“okay.” youngjo shrugs it off and proceeds to grab the remote control, browsing through different channels and purposely ignoring hwanwoong’s grumbling and tugging against his shirt. “buy one then.” 

“you’re going to let me, the drunk hwanwoong, walk down the road and buy ice cream?” with youngjo not buying his slurred words, hwanwoong starts whining more violently on his lap, trying his hardest to get youngjo’s attention. “i’ll hit my head on a lamp post!” 

“yeah. it’ll make you come back to your senses, then you can buy your ice cream.” 

“meanie.” hwanwoong frowns in defeat, burying himself deeper in youngjo’s shirt. his small arms embrace youngjo’s waist, which tested youngjo’s self-control quite mercilessly. he could feel hwanwoong’s hot breath against his stomach, which didn’t make things any easier at all. distracting oneself with the shows on the television proved to be ineffective, as all he could hear now is his heart beating ever so loudly in his ears. 

“ah! i know!” hwanwoong props up infront of youngjo, eyes bright with an idea, which would most likely be stupid, since nothing intellectual comes out from the mouth of a drunk hwanwoong. 

“let’s play 5 rounds of mario kart! every time you lose, you drink!” youngjo proved to be right, it was stupid. hwanwoong _still_ wants to drink even in _this state._ “and the one with more losses buys ice cream!” 

youngjo didn’t know what made him agree, but it would probably be the only way to make hwanwoong shut up about his ice cream, so he goes along with it. with time passing by ever so mercilessly, one loss became four, and before youngjo knew it, his head was already spinning and his grip was already weakened; hwanwoong never said a “drink” would mean chugging down almost one _whole_ bottle. youngjo _most definitely_ did _not_ keep losing on purpose to not have hwanwoong drink, though; he’s just _really_ bad at playing games. 

youngjo’s thumb clutches loosely on the controller, unable to control where he’d even go. his car falls off cliffs and roads consecutively, and hwanwoong laughs at him uncontrollably while hopping on the couch in excitement. though youngjo’s eyes are still fixed on the screen, he could hear the happiness in hwanwoong’s voice. his laughter blooms contentment in youngjo’s heart, forming a smile on his face despite the dizziness brewing in his head. 

with the last dash, four losses became five; hwanwoong kept jumping on the couch shakily, with the alcohol and the joy from victory knocking off his balance. youngjo just lets out a sigh in defeat, with hwanwoong’s uncontrolled pouring of drinks starting to kick in. 

“you’re terrible! you lost all five!” hwanwoong continues to laugh at him, clenching at his stomach that has been aching from laughter. “i wanted to drink though, but atleast i’ll get ice cream.” 

“yeah, that’s probably better.” youngjo deadpans, alcohol starting to slur his intonation and slow his speech. hwanwoong plops down beside him and rests his head on youngjo’s shoulder; height perfectly matching to make both of them comfortable. 

“what are you doing?” 

“get the ice cream later, let’s rest first. i’m tired.” 

“well, you can rest on your own. i’m the one going anyway. thanks to _you._ ” 

youngjo tries to numb his skin from hwanwoong’s body heat, but it proved to be futile. hwanwoong’s closeness gets past his defences; he could only hope that the sound effects of mario kart drowns out the loud beating of his heart. 

“you’ll hit a lamp post. rest first.” 

“i won’t. i’m not like _you._ ” 

“you’re so mean.” 

“i don’t think you should say that to someone who bought you snacks and is about to buy you an ice cream.” 

“oh, right.” hwanwoong laughs in embarrassment, squeezing himself closer to youngjo. 

“that’s why i love you, hyung.” 

_unnecessary,_ youngjo thinks again, but he’s used to it. he knew that to hwanwoong, those three words are casual, playful remarks he can say to anyone and everyone without thinking twice. he atleast knew that much. 

but maybe the alcohol has worn off youngjo’s numbness to pain, because as far as he knew, those three words never hurt him as much as it does now. he feels words climb up his throat relentlessly, and though he knew he’ll regret it, he had no energy to push it all back down. 

“i think you should stop that.” 

hwanwoong raises his head from youngjo’s shoulder and looks at him, dumbfounded; a question mark written all over his face. “what?” 

“saying things you don’t mean.” 

youngjo could feel the words scratching against his tongue. the silence in the air rings loudly in his ears— almost deafening. he could feel his heart sinking; a drunk youngjo might just be as stupid as a drunk hwanwoong after all. watching the years of friendship he carefully built with hwanwoong crumble before his eyes wasn’t exactly pleasant. 

“people might misunderstand.” 

hwanwoong remains wordless and youngjo unmoving. an indescribable tension diffuses in the air, in the little space between their sides. youngjo feels regret sink deep in his skin— all those years of masking his feelings went down the drain with just _alcohol._ hwanwoong’s silence sends panic to his brain, snapping him back to the reality of what he just said. 

“i mean, i know you’re really affectionate and clingy, but—“ 

“i mean it, though.” 

when hwanwoong speaks, it was as if all the alcohol in youngjo’s body got drained, or maybe it was the alcohol itself playing tricks to his ears. _maybe drunkenness comes with hearing problems,_ youngjo thinks. 

“all of it.” 

hwanwoong’s words could mean many things, but youngjo was never the one capable of reading through it. “what do you mean?” 

“that i love you.” 

“because of the ice cream?” 

“no, idiot.” hwanwoong laughs, easing the tension even just a little, the alcohol keeping him light and giddy. 

before youngjo’s brain could run off wildly, his concern for hwanwoong kicks in. although he already did, he wouldn’t like either of them regretting anything tomorrow; hwanwoong is much more drunk than he is, and anything he says is unreliable. though youngjo knew somewhere deep within him is hoping things could finally mean _something,_ he doesn’t give in to it. in the end, hwanwoong comes first above everything else— above his feelings, above the lingering hope. 

“you’re drunk. you should sleep now. i’ll clean up—“ 

“because of this.” 

“what?” youngjo falls back to his seat before he could even stand. 

“i know you’re not bad at mario kart, you’re the first in the leaderboard, you know.” a small smile sits on hwanwoong’s face, and it didn’t seem to be from the alcohol. his face looked much calmer as he sat back on the couch, breathing out heavily. “i was drunk, but i can still read.” 

hwanwoong hugs his knees and rests his chin on them, staring at the game still running on the screen, high with _something_ that isn’t alcohol. 

“and you never say you love me, but if i haven’t misread your actions, they give it away.” 

now that he thinks about it, youngjo never says those words at all, he’s not like hwanwoong after all. as embarrassing as it sounds, he values these words greatly like a teenage maiden; he didn’t want it carelessly rolling off his tongue, because for him, love wasn’t _just_ love. he hadn’t known exactly what it was for the longest time, but maybe somewhere along the way, love became moments like these; precious nights spent together and warm exchanges of smiles. at some point, maybe love became _hwanwoong._

youngjo never says it, but strangely enough, hwanwoong hears it loud and clear; in the smallest of touches to the gentle concern always present in his eyes. youngjo has a kindness that starts a flame in hwanwoong’s heart, envelopes it in a warmth he’s never felt before. maybe even to hwanwoong, love become something more than words; somewhere along the way, love became _youngjo_ as well. 

“you’re drunk. you need to—“ 

“i’m not, damn it.” youngjo attempts to stand up again but hwanwoong tugs at his shirt and pulls him back in place. “i’ve been sober for a while now, because _you_ wouldn’t let me drink.” 

youngjo sits still, the alcohol numbing the shock. though his head is still in shambles, he refuses to believe what he’s hearing and proceeds to play it off as irresponsible words that just falls off the mouth of a drunk hwanwoong. 

“all of it, i—“ 

“you should probably stop, or i’ll really misunderstand.” 

hwanwoong turns to youngjo looking completely pissed, which was hard to take seriously with his pout and puffed cheeks. if they were in a different situation, youngjo surely would’ve laughed at him. 

“you’re not misunderstanding anything, idiot! _i really do love you!_ do i have to spell it out for y—“ 

before hwanwoong could finish, youngjo silences his lips with his own. he was prepared for anything hwanwoong would do, kick him off or push him away, but although brief, he engraves it irremovable in his memory; the softness of hwanwoong’s lips and the scent of his chapstick, still evident despite the lingering scent of soju. 

“it was the alcohol.” when he pulls away quickly, hwanwoong stills in shock, eyes wide open and cheeks flushed bright pink; which is no longer from the alcohol. youngjo could almost see the steam blowing off hwanwoong’s head, and he couldn’t help but giggle at it. he feels a warmth burn in his chest, a happiness he’s never known before. “and me of course. couldn’t help it, sorry.” 

hwanwoong breaks into a smile, shoulders perked high and eyes glimmering brightly as the light of television reflected upon it beautifully. it was a sight to behold, a sight too hard to believe is even real. 

_”i love you.”_

there’s a fondness that blooms in youngjo’s eyes; in the way that he stares at hwanwoong and how it tugs the corners of his lips into a smile. youngjo found it hard to take in, how his feelings have somehow found their way to hwanwoong, and how he seems to finally return it. maybe it had reached a long time ago, but youngjo’s eyes were too clouded by doubt to even notice, as it starts to crawl up his skin even now. 

it sits at the pit of his stomach, the anxiety that this might not be real; maybe he has wished for this to happen so much that now that it’s actually happening, he found it severely hard to believe. the uncertainty keeps ringing like sirens in youngjo’s head, spreading uncontrollably like poison in his veins. 

“will you still mean that tomorrow?” 

as if hwanwoong has noticed it, he scoots closer and presses a kiss on youngjo’s lips in response. it works miracles on him, like the ache in his heart has been soothed and the storm in his head calmed. he eases away all youngjo’s doubts and lets feelings fill their kiss, saying all the words he never got to say. though youngjo still remembers how the subtle touch of their lips tasted before, hwanwoong’s kiss was nothing like it. he was sweeter, a lot softer than youngjo has ever known. when he cups his hand on hwanwoong’s face and tilts his head for a deeper kiss, none of it felt real; he felt like he was simply soaring high on emotion, already far too gone in his head. hwanwoong’s arms wrapping themselves around his neck told him otherwise, assuring him that all of it is real; that hwanwoong is _here,_ close and _finally_ close enough. 

when they pull away, youngjo pulls hwanwoong even closer against his chest and hovers his lips above his fringe. he gently parts them and presses a kiss on his forehead, caressing the back of his head like lulling a child to sleep. hwanwoong fits perfectly in youngjo’s embrace, as if his body was meant to hold hwanwoong alone. youngjo could only hope that he hears it, the _i love you too_ that he paints with his smile against hwanwoong’s skin. 

“of course.” 

youngjo knew he did, by the way hwanwoong smiles against his chest, like happiness blooming on places they touch. youngjo was never good at reading between the lines, but maybe he doesn’t have to. hwanwoong’s embrace tells him that all he has to do is _believe._

_”i always meant it, after all.”_  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> rawoong soulmates wbk stream a song written easily for a better life
> 
> hmu: [@svnnysvnwoo_](https://mobile.twitter.com/svnnysvnwoo_)


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